On Functioning Despite Quiet Exhaustion

The unromantic reality of life is that it never stops, even when you're exhausted. As a writer, it feels impossible to be creative when my brain is thoroughly fried. But there is no alternative option. It's either write or die, at least for me. There is no taking it easy when it comes to work. If you slip up even a little bit, you're out. Am I being dramatic? Probably. Can anyone else relate? Most likely. I'm not going to sugar-coat the dystopian nightmare we are currently living in. While I usually write about thriving in life, this post will discuss what it feels like to simply survive in 2026.

January has been the month from hell. It's Friday afternoon and the business week is coming to an end. Life continues. People of all demographics are being brutalized, small businesses are getting driven out by those with more money and resources, and corporate greed has no limits. Yet, here we are, pushing 40+ hours a week to be able to afford housing, food, and other basic necessities. Here we are, in a cut-throat competition amongst ourselves while we are being exploited by the more powerful. We are tired, we really are. And until late last night, I couldn't name this feeling.

I decided to call this feeling "quiet exhaustion". It's when you are exhausted and can't keep going, but you keep going somehow. My one and only manuscript is all about positive thoughts, good habits, and progress. But it's not about eternal sunshine nor ignoring all the difficult parts of life. It addresses tackling your fears about the future and doubts about yourself. It also talks about processing trauma, painful memories, and the most soul-crushing experiences you could ever imagine. Having lost my mother too soon, I faced the most perilous challenge of life: grief. And yet, here I am. Working a full-time job, searching for a part-time job, writing after work... all while being a wife, a cat mom, a daughter, a friend, a niece, and a decent human citizen. It's a matter of perspective, really. Can we really decide our future? Probably not. But we can control how we react to it and what course of action to take.

AI has not taken over. At least not yet. Looking back to when I decided to banish AI from my writing, I realized that my own authentic voice is powerful. My brain dumps tend to contribute towards something larger than myself. Well, that is actually my intention. Last night, I told my husband that after we lost our elderly cat, Blue, I felt like I had no more purpose in life. I truly wasn't sure how or why I was getting up every day and going to work. But I realize it now. I have my family, my career, myself. I was in survival mode for far too many years. Now, I am searching for meaning in my life. I'm not sure if I have found it yet, so right now, my purpose is simply to find meaning in life.

This desire to have meaning stems from our most essential human survival skills. It really is "survival of the fittest" in this late-stage capitalist world. This meaning defines what we enjoy doing in times of joy and what gets us through periods of darkness. Yes, we are exhausted. But there is no alternative. We can't give up when there are others who are more vulnerable and in need. We have to keep getting up every day, going to work, and building the life we want. Despite all the turmoil I've described, I still find little moments of happiness every single day. Whether it's playing with our kitten, cuddling with our older cat, or just sitting across from my husband while we both work, I find strength in these moments. It truly is all about perspective.

I invite you to follow along in my search for meaning. I am here to follow your journey, too. We can conquer anything together.

In solidarity,

Carla